I recently shared that I would be starting to plan Hubs’ funeral while he is very much alive and well. I also touched on 5 tips to help you pre-plan a funeral. A couple of people have asked what is the big deal? Why not just deal with it all when the time comes? Truthfully, because no one likes talking about death or funerals. Well I have 87 reasons why I think that it is a good idea to start that conversation now, not only with Hubs but also other members of my family (like my parents).
You read that right, there are over 87 decisions, pieces of information to gather or things to do when someone dies. If you don’t believe me, then check out this handy list of 87 Things to do after a death that Arbor Memorial has put together to help get you organized.
Because right after your love one passes away, how likely are you to remember the birthplace of their mother and father? That is, if you even knew it in the first place! There is a lot of information to gather, including Social Insurance Numbers, wills, life insurance and more. Plus you need to make choices regarding final arrangements. Who wants to be dealing with all of that when you are an emotional disaster? Many of these things can be decided ahead of time, and when you do have these conversations now, you have the benefit of finding out what you partner/family member would like for their final arrangements first-hand.
Hubs and I were put to the test to see if what I would have picked for his final arrangements were actually what he would like for himself, whenever that time may be. How did we match up? See for yourself below.
Overall we were on the same page, but there were important details like where Hubs’ final resting place would be that we had not discussed. He preferred the idea of his ashes being scattered somewhere, whereas I liked the thought of having a more permanent place for his ashes. While a traditional niche for an urn is probably not what we are looking for, there are many other options these days including garden areas in the cemetery with nature rocks, trees or benches. While we may not have finalized everything in one discussion, it was eye-opening to be able to meet with funeral directors to see all of the decisions that have to be made and all of the options that are out there.
And trust me there is a lot to think about. Wondering what it is like to go through the pre-planning funeral process? Here is a video that highlights our experience:
In talking to Hubs about our end-of-life wishes it was highlighted to me that there are many unanswered questions for other members of our family as well. Having these conversations with your parents, and getting siblings involved as well, can greatly reduce the stress of the loss of your parents, whenever that time comes. When talking about these sorts of choices, it is not set in stone so it can never be changed, but rather offers some guidance if something unexpected were to happen and can be updated if required over the years.
If you were like me and were not sure where to start, the four-step pre-planning guide from Arbor Memorial is a good starting point. While I don’t think this is something I will need to deal with for a long time, it is nice having the peace of mind knowing what plans we have in place for when the time comes.
Disclosure: This post was brought to you by Arbor Memorial. All opinions are strictly my own.